I was flicking through the Guardian today when I came across the "notes and queries" section in the G2. One of the queries rendered me actually, literally speechless - no mean feat (I learnt to talk at the age of one and apparently "haven't stopped since"). Alas, the query isn't up on the website yet so you'll have to take my word for it:
"Evolution is now well-documented and accepted, so if people kept jumping off the roof of a tall building, how long would it take before we developed wings to fly?"
Seriously?
Ok. A deep seated hatred of the kind of people who write into newspaper editorials actually prevents me from writing in to the section in question with my response, however it doesn't stop me from passive-aggressively ranting about it in my blog. Here is a highly simplified crash course on how evolution works:
Evolution is in its simplest form "survival of the fittest". The best adapted members of a species are more likely to survive and/or be chosen as breeding partners - meaning that they are more likely to pass on their genes to the next generation. This makes those favourable genes more common in each successive generation. As the process continues through the generations the "favourable traits" that led to the first individual's evolutionary success become more and more widespread until eventually they become "normal". I'm aware that my hastily noted ramblings may be confusing so let's use a totally fictional and rather extreme disease model to simplify things:
On planet Alex there are millions of bunnies (why bunnies? Because it's planet Alex. Deal with it). The bunnies all live in harmony on planet Alex, which is plentiful in food and free from predators, and are free to interbreed at will. Because of this there is a large amount of genetic diversity. Some of the bunnies have spontaneously mutated so that they carry gene X (note the "spontaneous" part. This is random people). At the moment gene X has no general effect on the population and so it is passed on from parent bunny to baby bunny with no real consequence. Until the plague comes.
(The plague has been brought to planet Alex by evil toad overlords who came for a two week holiday and then buggered off again)
The plague is fatal to the bunnies on planet Alex, however it just so happens that gene X makes the bunnies that carry it immune to the plague. This is a total coincidence. Pretty soon the entire bunny population has been wiped out by the plague, leaving only the bunnies with gene X alive. Because they are bunnies they set about repopulating planet Alex pretty sharpish. The result? Every in bunny in the population now carries gene X.
That was a very simplistic and entirely unrealistic scenario (in actual fact there are no bunnies native to planet Alex) but the basic point I'm making here is that evolution is a process that happens by chance not by design. It is caused by the selection of existing genetic traits that have become favourable for survival due to a particular environment. It is not caused by the actions of individual members of a species over time.
Taking the above example: people continually leaping from a roof top would not cause other members of the population to sprout wings, it would merely serve to remove those idiots who jumped off of buildings from the breeding pool.
And that ladies and gents is why I'm going into science journalism.
The worst thing is when I told one of my co-workers that I'd seen something truly depressing in the newspaper our resulting conversation was as follows:
"You mean the thing I sent you?"
"Erm, what thing you sent me?"
"The thing with the scratchcards."
"What thing with the scratchcards?"
"The thing I sent you with the....Jesus, Alex. Try checking your work email."
"Ok, ok..... Oh, crap."
The little gem awaiting me in my inbox was this. My favourite line of the piece?
""I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it."
I'll be out back, researching tall buildings with roof access in my local area.
12 comments:
That was hilarious and depressing at the same time. You always know how to treat me.
Also, planet Alex wouldn't have any relation to Bucky O'Hare and the Toad Wars, would it? Probably not.
A few things:
Why all the words? They're hurting my head. And you keep saying evolution. Owwwwwwwwwww.
Do the bunnies mutate into puppies? Someday, maybe?
I just met my new co-worker, who told me he watches science shows, not because of the science, but to see what the evolution people are saying now. He seemed so nice.
i think my screen name says it all.
what? there are no real bunnies?
nevermind.
I think that I will try to make my boyfriend read this. I keep trying to explain evolution to him, but he just doesn't get it. He believes in it, he just doesn't understand how it works. I think that's what happens when you grow up Mormon. Lack of education makes you think that if evolution exists, it means that giraffes got long necks by stretching really hard for many generations. Tsk.
Forever and ever will I send folks who spout ignoramus BS about evolution to this post to be properly schooled.
I don't understand why evolution is such a tricky concept for some folks to grasp. Unless it's because at the mere speaking of the word "evolution" they are temporarily stricken deaf and mongoloid.
Thanks buddy.
Sooo... you're saying that throwing cats out of windows isn't going to one day reward me with my very own flying kitten? Damn it.
I think you're putting too big an emphasis on chance here. Evolution isn't just random, only the mutations happen by chance. Natural selection - the process through which evolution works - is not random at all. It is the survival and reproduction of the genes with the best ability to survive and reproduce.
Vermillion: What do you think? Would I flippantly reference a completely obscure early 90s cartoon? Course I bloody would.
gwch: That makes me sad. And yes, one day the bunnies will mutate into puppies... unfortunately the killer bees have something to say about that.
bionic bunny!: There are however fake bunnies... That help?
ahhh: Glad I could help. I remember trying to explain the "neck stretching" think in one of my A-level philosophy classes. It was horrifying.
Manda: My pleasure!
Dill: If it did, I would have made a fortune already..
Jaakko: You're absolutely right, I probably should have made more of a point of that. I was trying to emphasise that although the selection process isn't random the appearance of the genes that will eventually be selected for is. Meaning that by continually performing a certain task we do not make it more likely for genetic traits that would be advantageous for that task to exist in the population. They have to exist already and then be selected for.
hehee "humainity"... sorry - great post- sometimes i forget how much of a science nerd i really am until i read something as cool as this! SAS
I too saw the Scratchcard story last week and wept. As for the Guardian query though, I would query the use of the term Survival of the Fittest.
Biologists avoid using that phrase and although it is often attributed to Darwin, it was actually coined by philosopher Herbert Spencer. (I have to thank the Mark Steel lectures for opening my eyes to all this.)
Wikipedia goes into this in much more depth, but the biologists generally consider it inaccurate; for example, your x-bunnies weren't fitter, just different. There is also a ethical concern that it justifies such theories as eugenics.
Of course, there is much much more to this topic, but I thought it was a point worth mentioning. (Though Mark Steel's version was probably funnier.)
I can't help but feel that we're missing a great opporuntity here. I can think of at least 12 people off the top of my head who I would like to line up and tell them that in the interests of medical science, we need them to jump off a tall building. Now if each of you add another 12 or so, we can push natural selection a little in the right direction.
Alex: I'll see you at the top of the Post Office Tower with my 12 idiots at about 7pm?
Anon: Yeah, it's like "humanity" only stupider...
Simon B: Aaah but one could argue that once the plague arrived they became fitter due to a change in environment (and actually being alive as opposed to dead which I've heard is very bad for overall fitness levels).
Actually, I don't like the phrase either but I use it when talking to non science audience because it's a commonly understood term. I will check out those lectures thoughm they sound like just my cup of tea.
PaddyDog: We'd certainly be increasing the net intelligence of the genepool.
Seven works for me, I'll bring the whiskey.
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