Remember ladies, if you happen to be dating a man who is incapable of decent human behaviour such as finishing with you before running off and sticking his dick into the next warm thing with ladyparts... it's not his fault.
It's yours!
I really fucking hate Cosmopolitan magazine. I hate it and all it stands for. I hate its "sex tips" (seriously, if you find a man who doesn't either laugh nervously or scream in horror when you suggest introducing pineapple rings and a scrunchie into the bedroom: you're already doing it wrong), I hate its "fashion spreads", I hate the adverts for plastic surgery interspersed with features on how to feel good about yourself. And now I hate its YouTube videos.
Aces.
Oh and from the comments:
dont understand how women can think u can actually be in a relationship with a man and not have sex as one of your priorities. thats like having a car with no car insurance or gasoline. u wanna keep a man?- then take it form a man, be adventurous in bed and FREQUENTLY, also dont nag us- let us drink our beer watch our porn and pursue our hobbies... do these two things and i guarantee your man will love your forever- trust me im a guy.Yeah, not only is he a guy, he's a catch!
Slightly more heartening are the feministing comments:
I hate segments like this because it virtually erases any concept of a women's sex drive. I am by far the more sexual one in my relationship and it always pisses me off that it's never acknowledged that women want and love sex too. I don't have sex because my husband is hardwired to have sex and needs it a lot. I have sex because, damnit, I like orgasms.Amen, MzBitca. A-freaking-men
If you need a week or two off work and think that stabbing your own eyes out through sheer frustration and the desire to make it fucking stop may be the way to do it you should go ahead and watch more of the drek the Cosmo channel on YouTube vomits out on a semi regular basis*
[Via Feministing]
*Note: This is not actually recommended. At all. Please don't.
4 comments:
I've always wondered how Cosmo can run so many sex tips without getting repetitive (or is the readership so attention-span-limited that they wouldn't notice?). And now they're into relationship tips? Oh Joy! I get that putting the preventative onus on women is offensive to women, but as a guy I'm SEX quite offended that these so-SEX-called experts think that guys are SEX so shallow that their skulls are empty and that SEX their real brain lies just below the belt SEX line. Just because many guys can SEX be libidinous doesn't mean that women can't be, or that guys don't SEX have more going on between the ears than just SEX one topic all the time - women aren't the SEX only ones with any depth to their SEX personalities. So for women to keep a guy SEX from cheating she has to quit treating him SEX like a person and more SEX like SEX a nymphobot SEX with bad SEX programming??
What the hell's wrong with people these days, is insanity growing or are they really that dumb? How about this law for both partners - make sure you don't get so wrapped up in yourself and your own needs that you leave the other half feeling left out of the equation!
Fkinhell, what a way to start the work week. Now I'm gonna be cranky all day and it's all Cosmo's fault! I get so fed up at times that I start to lose sympathy for the simpletons who fall for/gobble up this shit - they almost deserve what they get.
"Any dolt with half a brain can see that humankind has gone insane, to the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo if I throw poison in the watermain..."
"let us drink our beer [1] watch our porn [2] and pursue our hobbies [3]... do these two things and i guarantee your man will love your forever- trust me im a guy."
I'm not trusting anyone who can't count.
Mmm, I don't know, that porn & beer commenter might be on to something there...
lordhelmet: Sorry for any distress caused, I tried to make up for it in the next post, honestly I did.
geetch: A wise philosophy. I also don't trust anyone who doesn't believe in the existence of the apostrophe.
BSlim: But see I like porn and beer too! It's just if Cosmo had their way I wouldn't be allowed them as I finance them with the ultimate bonerkiller: my career!
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