decisions decisions....

In a continuation of my hideous week, we have now come to the beginning of "Typical Alex life freak out Phase III"* in that I'm quite tempted to run away. Here, as I see it, are my ten best possible options:

1) Move to the New York and intern for a newspaper or a journal, live in a flatshare with about 9 other people and eventually work my way up through the publishing world (problem: a million and one people want to do the same thing and I'll probably starve to death)

2) Become the next Internet sensation and ride the wave of the publicity onto chat shows and make a ton of money (problem: becoming the next internet sensation would probably be fairly difficult and embarrassing)

3) Move to Amsterdam and become a stripper, use my dubious connections to blackmail important businessmen (problem: if I end up meeting and falling in love with a minor member of the European royalty he'd be forced to break up with me because of my seedy past)

4) Move to Italy and get a job in a vineyard, learn about wine making and eventually take over the business when I marry the owners' rugged yet strangely sensitive son Marco. (problem: likelihood of my Italian ever being good enough to converse with Marco is slim to none)

5) Go on a countrywide tour with an up and coming rock band and learn valuable lessons about the value of family as well as gaining an important insight into who I really am (problem: as great as Almost Famous is, movie plots aren't really representative of real life)

6) Move to Fiji, spend my savings re-taking my PADI qualifications and spend my time doing marine conservation work, teaching diving in my spare time and bar-tending to earn money to pay the rent (problem: Lack of funds to afford the initial flights, diving lessons and accommodation)

7) Become a receptionist at a tattoo parlour, spend all my earnings on rent for a tiny box room in Camden and adding to my now completely acceptable tattoo collection (problem: I'd be poor for all eternity and my mother would disown me.)

8) Hole up in a cottage in the Highlands and write an astonishing debut novel winning several awards in the process (problem: lack of muse and easily distracted nature means that I would spend the entire time blogging or internet shopping and hence would die cold and alone but surrounded by beautiful yet ill-fitting shoes and bargain jewellery)

9) Move to Japan and get a job writing the scripts and story concepts for RPGs, spend my evenings learning to cook and hanging out in video arcades (problem: lack of knowledge of Japanese and any kind of programming skills may hinder me somewhat)

10) Suck it up, get over it, apply for more research jobs now, start working on my 4 year project application for this winter and wait for the new batch of PhDs to be advertised later in the academic year. (problem: If I wanted to be sensible and do that I wouldn't be having a freak out now would I?)

So there we have it. Now I just need to pick one.




*Phase I: anger, ranting, frustration. Phase II: anti-social behaviour, lack of communication, apathy. Look out for Phases IV (psychotic chipperness, optimism and unintentional honesty) and V (drastic image modification/inappropriate boy/extreme drunkenness/all of the above). Coming soon!