fucking shove it

at 11:45

Wednesday 16 July 2008

You know what, Simon Mills, why don't you crawl right back in to the hole you came from. Oh and take some journalism courses while you're in there. I hear the University of Phoenix offers some excellent distance learning programs, and you seem ideally suited to them. On said course you might like to learn a little something called fact checking and research! It's this super fun concept where when you write a bullshit opinion piece for the Telegraph (to be published in the oh so prestigious fashion section) you don't just pull the contents out of your arse!

Sounds great, huh?

I was angry reading your article, I really was. Phrases such as

"It is hard to argue that any of these irrefutably beautiful women has been anything but blighted - rather than enhanced - by her rash decision to become graffitied"
(So full of assumptions! So very patronising! So incredibly subjective!) and:
Most tattoos are the cheap plumage of the attention-seeker, visual ice breakers for last-chance barflies and aspiring reality TV show contestants. They certainly aren't scary or alternative any more. Now that they have been co-opted by the masses - the squares, the mortgaged, the Volvo drivers, the wusses and the girls - we have come to accept their fairground aesthetic in much the same way we have decided to allow Gordon Ramsay's pointless swearing.
(Oh no! Women get them, they are no longer valid! Also: Making sweeping generalisations about a sizable proportion of the population is fun and not at all hackish!) made me want to spit venom. But then I realised that essentially you are another irritating little man with an axe to grind, who for some reason takes offense at what people with no connection to you whatsoever do with their own bodies. Imagine that!

So now I kind of just feel bad for you. I'd still like you to go find that hole though.

Kisses

Alex

ps. you know it is possible Pharrell Williams is having removal work done so that he can improve the tattoos he has, this is actually an incredibly common reason for laser treatment as people evolve and change and wish their artwork to do so too. (You might want to factor that in to the statistics you're so fond of.) But it's cool though, if you want to keep making assumptions about the motivations of people you've never met I won't stop you.

pps. Spur of the moment flash ripped from the wall is a leeeeetle different from custom designed artwork requiring hours of work and lashings of skill

ppps. So glad you enjoyed my article enough to really take it to heart and follow the advice within it. Maybe next week you could write a piece about how maligned the White Middle Aged Male is, I hear that's pretty topical right now.

Update: apparently I wasn't the only person the Telegraph pissed off today.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Miss Odd. Long time lurker, first time commenter. Full disclosure: tattoo'd gals don't really do it for me. Some are tasteful, some are garish, but (other than Angelina Jolie) in general, tats are a turn-off for me.

That said, some are absolute works of art, and those that have the staying power to not degrade over decades deserve acclaim. I prefer it when the tattoo actually has meaning more than just a generic tramp stamp, but there is a level of artistry attainable that can be tastefully displayed that even I can appreciate. And I certainly won't presume to impose my aesthetic standards on others, let alone make them feel bad for their choices - by the same token though, I refuse to unthinkingly take their side in an argument I'm not really emotionally invested in. Opponents are often uptight busybodies trying to remake the world in their own image, but often tattoo enthusiasts can come across as militant and/or freakish, intending to shock and provoke, and as authentic as that may be, it is not in and of itself laudable or meaningful/constructive in terms of dialogue. It'd be nice if both sides would just chill and go solve some bigger problems, but in the meantime let those that like tats, get them, and those that don't, let them.

So, more power to you and keep up your good fight (with pictures). And thanks for all the good feminist content and thought-provoking posts. Best of luck with your schooling and work, hopefully it's largely free of anti-tat discrimination.

Cheers,
LH

Alex the Odd said...

Hi Lordhelmet, thanks for reading and coming out of lurkerdom (It always makes my heart sing when I find out that I have lurkers) it is comments like yours that remind me why I blog in the first place!

I do get your point about tattoo lovers getting militant, it's just as annoying as the other side having a go at us. There was yet ANOTHER artice on the subject in the Guardian today and I could have written about 90% of the comments myself, from both viewpoints. My major problem with the Telegraph piece was its sheer unoriginality. I mean, if you're going to be pithy and mean at least make it something we haven't all heard a million times before.

Oh well, whatever sells newspapers I guess ;)

TK said...

Sugar, you are so getting linked on Thursday for PL.

Anonymous said...

Dammit, girl, I'd love to buy you a beer. The ration of shit you fed that sorry sack-of-assholes was truly well done and certainly well deserved.