So I got a very lovely email from Megbon, a Pajibite and apparent Ink&Apples reader (I got a tip! I feel so unameteurish!) about an op ed piece in the Washington Post, on my very favourite subject.
Aaaah yes. The article is predictably one sided, narrow minded and poorly researched. I wonder where we've seen that before?
Instead of going through the article and ranting (essentially copying and pasting my post I linked to above) I thought today we'd play a little game of bingo with my Write Your Own Tattoo Themed "News" Story post.
Here's how it works (we all know how much I love inventing rules)
The categories are as follows:
Title - Worth one point
Photo - Worth one point
Text - in terms of topics 1-3 = one point, 4-6 = two points, 7-9 = three points, all ten = a whopping five points
Factfile - one point for either
Comments - 1-4 = two points, 5-8 = five points
Bonus points: Article not provoked by a relevant item in the news (not counting "trend pieces") - two points.
This gives a maximum score of 10 for articles without comments, 15 for articles with them.
Let's see how Richard Cohen fares
Title: "Ink-Stained Wretchedness"? Hell yes, that's worth a point
Photo: Sadly none for the online edition. Nil points.
Text: I count five, which is understandable - the fun and unbalanced articles don't need to give you information about the actual process or artform! Two points
Factfile: None. Nil Points.
Comments: Oh god, this hurt. This really really hurt.
Although I would like to nominate the following for BEST COMMENT EVAR!!!!11 award
Soloman proposed in the Proverbs, some 3000 years ago, that understanding, character and sincerity contribute to wisdom. Wisdom and purity of spirit, he said, were the noblest goals of mankind.
American womankind, in our own peculiar days of ignorance, however, has her own ideas and ambitions. She is desecrating her body with a single-minded ugliness, both in body fat and in written body language, that emanates from the wellsprings of personal disaffection.
In time a mirror will reveal to her the kinship of her body and her soul. For knowledge is a mirror, for us to see ourselves as what we are, and what we would hope to be. What we would hope to be is surely what our children, and their children would wish us to be. They are our mirrors.
Seriously? That's amazing. A piece of art one might say, truly. I stand in awe.
Anyway! I had to stop reading on page three, partly because I'd already reached the threshold for maximum points by the middle of the second page and partly because I think I was about to burst a few blood vessels and I think I probably need them
Needless to say - five points.
Bonus points: Oh hell yes, two points for you Mr Cohen! I think one of the commenters says it best:
Wow, nice job staying relevant, Washington Post. I'm sure people are going to keep paying for your increasingly crappy newspaper with gems like this!
Quite.
So how did he do?
10 out of a possible 15 points! But don't despair you have to say at least one positive thing to even be eligible for a perfect score.
(for those interested Simon Mills scored a whopping 9 out of 10 points, managing to make even the articulate quotes have a negative spin on them. There were no comments on the piece but I think he deserves special mention for mentioning five out of a possible eight commenter opinions within the text of the article itself.
Stay classy, Simon. Stay classy.)
7 comments:
Yes, by all means Mr. Cohen, feel free to make sweeping generalizations. And please, make sure you question a behaviorist of some sort, instead of bother to, oh, talk to someone with tattoos, or a tattoo artist about the what and the why. Yes, please do classify EVERYONE with tattoos as losers.
50 years ago, obnoxious old blowhards like him were screaming that we were going to Hell because of rock n' roll. What a complete and utter asshole.
I just loved the author's bullshit attempt to compare fiscal irresponsibility with his fabricated psychology of tattooed individuals. What a crock of crap.
This mentality seems like a generational/class thing. My father-in-law said, "I don't know why anyone would hire someone with tattoos," to my husband after being waited on by a well-inked waitress. I guess he completely forgot his daughter-in-law had a few tattoos of her own.
And man, I hate when people pull out the obscure passages from the old testament to somehow bring hell and damnation into the mix. I have a heavily-inked close friend who is studying to enter the ministry, and he can argue that bible thumping logic into the ground
My sister and I were watching a National Geographic show the other night about tribal tattooing in the Maori of New Zealand. (And yes, my family is all just as cool as a lead statement like that would indicate) I'd love to see one of these assholes try and argue their reactionary logic against these cultures that have used tattoos as rites of passage for hundreds of years or more.
Frankly, anyone having a strong and unbending opinion about something not actually being done to their body bewilders me. I mean, I don't really "get" why perfectly healthy women get boob jobs either, but what the hell, no one's stuffing ziplock baggies in my chest so whatever. Also, why is THAT kind of body modification socially acceptable but tattoos and facial piercings aren't? Oh, right, cause most men like looking at big boobs. Fail.
TK: I can just see him shaking his fist and telling me to get off his lawn. Luckily for me he'll never read this and discover my hatred for him. These newfangled demon boxes with their magic pictures must confuse him. I'm willing to put money on the fact that he submitted that manuscript on parchment.
Making cracks about his age? Oh yes, I went there.
Manda: People forget themselves around me and go on rants about "tattooed scum" it's the point at which my friends used to start backing away or looking for something to hide behind. Now I no longer explode, I just smile, strip down a layer and watch the horrified backtracking.
And yes bible verses to try and justify bigotry = instant fail.
Rusty: I completely agree with you and it's a subject I've ranted on before but don't forget it's not just because men like looking at big boobs it's because women's bodies are public property and thus it is completely OK for society to tell us what to do with them.
Some non tattooed folk do get awfully up in arms about a topic which has absolutely fuck all to do with them. I've never actually met a tattooed person who has derided someone else's choice not to get tattooed but then maybe I hang out in a particularly enlightened crowd. And don't know that many tattooed people ;)
Just thinking, there could be a drinking game for this blog involving tattoos (yours), tattoos (articles, pro or con), feminism, school, etc.. just seeing your points system for rating that article had me thinking of more fun alternatives, and wouldn't you know, you're the creator of the world-famous Pajiba Drinking Game!
Ok, enough with the run-ons. I saw an article yesterday on people (especially women) being urged to be cautious in getting tattoos because the removal process can be pricey/painful. There needs to be more encouragement for personal choice, although balancing with looking appropriately professional could be a consideration. I just don't get why this is an issue with so much life in it! Rusty made a great point with breast augmentation as an accepted norm, frankly I'm not into that but if it works for the person, great. Too often it's linked to self-esteem deficiencies that I don't like perpetuating. Anyway. I'll go before my own rant begins - yours are so much more fun to read!
LH
Hey, lurker here. Thanks for the link. I wrote a nice little email to Mr. Cohen, thanking him for being the second person in a week to insult me for having tattoos.
Did anyone actually understand what he was trying to prove? I'm so glad the Post pays such morons to write for them.
The editorial board at WaPo is headed by this dude named Fred Hiatt who is a douchebag of near epic proportions, an established water carrier for the Bush Administration and their grand Adventure in Iraq. But, spare a tear for the guy: the political lanscape is so bleak for politicos of his ilk he's left with nothing but railing against those goddamn kids with their goddamn tattoos who are going to vote for Barack Obama. Heh. I love it.
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